What 10 Coaching Calls Taught Me About People Management
This year I hosted 10 one-hour coaching calls with managers who wanted to level up their people leadership skills. These weren't struggling managers—they were curious, motivated professionals who sensed there was something more to management than what they'd figured out on their own.
What emerged from these conversations surprised me. I asked every person what management skills they had, and most couldn't articulate their people management skills.
Photo by Redd Francisco on Unsplash
Here's What I Noticed
Managers could easily identify their problems:
"I have an employee who isn't getting their work done"
"I have a difficult direct report, they don’t accept any feedback"
"I’m trying to manage a conflict"
But they struggled to name what management skills actually are.
When I asked what management skills they had, I heard a lot of:
"I am not a micromanager"
“I am consistent and kind”
"I want to be a better leader"
Notice what's missing? Those aren't skills. They're aspirations. One is even defined by absence (not micromanaging).
Here's what really struck me: Not one person talked about building a robust, self-sufficient team.
Nobody said:
"I want to develop my team's capability to solve problems without me"
"I'm interested in creating a culture where feedback is normal and welcomed"
"I want to build a team that multiplies my effectiveness"
"I'm focused on developing the next generation of leaders"
The conversation was always about fixing individual problems, never about building collective capability.
Why This Matters (And Why It's Not Your Fault)
If you're reading this and thinking, "Wait, that sounds like me," you're not alone. Recent research shows that 60% of new managers receive zero training when they transition into leadership roles. Zero. (Wharton Article). Gartner Research found that 85% of new people managers receive no formal training (Fast Company)
We promote people because they're excellent individual contributors, then expect them to suddenly know how to develop others, build teams, and multiply impact—with no training, no frameworks, and no vocabulary for what those skills even are.
It's like expecting someone to become a master chef just because they're great at following recipes. Cooking for yourself and leading a kitchen are entirely different skill sets.
What You're Actually Giving Up
When I dug into the research (because I wanted to understand what I was seeing in these calls), I found something striking: managers without team-building skills aren't just dealing with annoying problems. They're leaving massive value on the table.
The multiplier effect: Well-led teams can be 5x more productive than poorly-led ones. That's not 5% better—it's 5x. (Agility Visual)
Time back in your day: Managers who build capable, autonomous teams spend less time firefighting and more time on strategic work. Your team handles more without you.
Your career trajectory: People who develop strong teams get promoted faster. Why? They've built the bench. They've shown they can scale impact through others.
The business case: According to Gallup research, poor management costs the U.S. between $960 billion and $1.2 trillion per year in productivity lost to disengagement (Gallup)
What Management Skills Actually Are
So if "not micromanaging" isn't a skill, what is?
Here are some real management skills:
Receiving feedback - Before you can give feedback well, you need to model how to receive it. This builds psychological safety and shows your team what good looks like.
Giving feedback - Not compliments, not criticism—real feedback that's specific, actionable, and helps people repeat strong performance or adjust course.
Coaching - This is different from feedback. Coaching helps your direct reports think through problems, develop their judgment, and build capability over time.
Delegation - Assigning work in a way that develops your team's skills while freeing up your capacity for higher-level work. It's not just handing off tasks—it's strategic development.
Progress monitoring - Checking in on work without micromanaging. Creating systems that keep you informed while giving your team autonomy.
Building team culture - Creating an environment of learning, feedback, and continuous improvement where people do their best work.
Notice how specific these are? Notice how they're all about building team capability, not just fixing individual problems?
Where to Start
If you're reading this and recognizing yourself in these patterns, here's the good news: these are learnable skills. You're not behind—you just haven't been taught.
Start here:
1. Name the skill you want to build. Not "be a better manager." Pick something specific: "I want to get better at giving developmental feedback" or "I want to build more trust on my team."
2. Stop only thinking about fixing problems. Ask yourself: "What capability do I want my team to have six months from now that they don't have today?"
3. Study teams, not just individuals. Pay attention to team dynamics, not just individual performance. Notice patterns. Where does collaboration break down? Where does it work smoothly?
4. Get real training. Whether it's a course, a program, or working with a coach, invest in learning the frameworks and vocabulary that make these skills explicit.
The managers who are thriving aren't just winging it. They've learned the skills that most of us were never taught.
I'm launching professional development courses for people who want to become exceptional people managers—not by accident, but by design. If you’re ready to unlock your exceptional, I'd love to have you join. Learn more here.
